Lost In Fiction

Life is only dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. – Bill Hicks

Too many things happened to me. I always think, that I am the trouble maker of my self and I think that is just because I really did believe what I was saying at the time, what I was thinking even when I know those are just my dreams and fictions in my mind. I keep wasting my time when people around me doing their life. Then they left me behind, then I regret it, promise not to waste my time again, and I repeat my mistake time to time.

My dreams come slow and they go so fast.

Sometimes, I knew I’m lost in my mind and go back as a different person. But I got confused, is that wrong or right? When some people said that “Follow your heart” the other people said “You should be what everyone wanted me to be”. This is so….?????

I’m afraid if I follow my heart, my heart is a huge big mistake. I’m afraid if I finally decide to do what people do, I’m gonna dying for the entire of my life.

I need to step outside and get another air to breathe to remind my self of who I am and who I want to be. But again, I don’t know how to step outside, In fact I just do not have a courage to ..

So many times I get sad, happy, angry at the same time. I couldn’t recognize my own feeling.

So many times I get so emotional and also so many times I get heartless.

So many rules in this world, so many things I cannot keep, so many reason to change and so many reason to stay.

It’s getting dark, here. I need a little light.

I’m on the road without knowing my destination.

Hope sooner I will know what to life for living. I’m trying to find my self.

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Where are you now? I hear footsteps. I’m dreaming.

I miss you,